by my dear friend Patty

You are in your routine, driving down the road of life, in the driver’s seat, in control. Over the years you have built the path you are on and you are comfortable with it. Most days are quite predictable and this is reassuring. Certainly,there are some twists and turns along the way, but you have come to expect this. That’s life. Then everything changes. In one, single day. The moment you are diagnosed with cancer.

Suddenly you are hooked into a system of intersecting highways with a complex life of its own. Terminology. Technology. Treatments. Teams of people you do not know, and who do not know you. Unexpectedly, someone else is driving. You feel a loss of control as they hit the accelerator and you enter a world you know nothing about, where everything is completely new to you, yet everything is very personal, important and life – changing.

How do you prepare yourself for what’s ahead? You have no experience to call upon. You did not build this road. You’re not “behind the wheel.” You don’t know and can’t predict what is up ahead, or around the next corner. It seems that almost instantly everything in your life is foggy, complicated, stressful, exhausting.

In the midst of all this, you must make choices. Exits, entrances, new pathways fly by and you try your best to understand and choose the right road. You know decisions need to be made, but your vision is blurred by fatigue, fear, anxiety. You hear the words, but you struggle to process them. It’s so hard to focus, absorb, remember, decide. And even though you feel disoriented, the pace continues on.

Every so often a hairpin turn requires that the brakes be applied. Or you may even come to a screeching halt. New issues. New questions. More tests. Then more waiting. Tick. Tick. Tick. You would expect this temporary “slow down” to be easier. It’s not. Anxiety builds. Days feel like weeks while you wait for “the results”. They come back and then it is 0 to 60 again.

As you start getting accustomed to the people, place and pace, a new fear arises – the journey that is now just starting to feel familiar could change. You could be faced with a new obstacle, handed off to a totally new driver, put on a new path and have to start adapting, all over again. Often you think about opportunities, strategies, tools that could help you. But it seems too overwhelming — all you can think about is what is immediately in front of you, everything else zooms by. You wish there was someone with experience to help you navigate and regain your control and hope.

Thankfully, one day the road stops. You are a “survivor” and feel great relief, but find yourself asking: “Where am I? What do I do now? How do I get back to my family, friends and work? How do I restore my strength, my confidence, my life?”

Next month in the cancer corner, resources to help you rebuild your life AFTER cancer.

1.  Pack light - this might not sound easy when we are used to overflowing diaper bags, but with the Babee Covee, a new baby blanket and cover that offers six uses in one, you can save a ton of space but have all you need for your little one.

2.  Always have wipes - use them for everything…from cleaning the usual suspects of diapers and hands to the unexpected mess on you, on them or in the car. I don’t leave home without them.

3.  Bring snacks – for the fussy child or the adult, it’s always better to have a snack to stay on track. Hungry people get cranky; snacks will help avoid this.

4.  Have a box of “tricks” - before going on any trip whether by car or plane, I always head to the dollar store to grab a whole bunch of stuff. So, when necessary, I can give the kids something new and exciting. When you arrive at your destination pack the tricks away so on the return home the toys will still be exciting.

5.  Layer up - you can never predict the weather so it’s always good to have a few layers to take you from morning until night. It’s much easier to take off than to not have enough. Being cold is not fun for anyone.

6.  Charge up - when all else fails, hand your child your phone. Be sure to have a backup battery or charger. There are a ton of smart phone apps that kids can play with too depending on their age.

7.  Use GPS - especially when traveling far, it’s best to know where you are going than to guess. Kids can’t wait to arrive so avoid lengthening the trip by not getting lost.

8.  Bring a friend - the more the merrier so if you can plan a trip with others, do so. Then, you can create lasting family memories together.

9.  Be comfortable – you’re traveling, not going on an interview!

10.  Have fun! You are with your family, enjoy them! Life is too precious.